i'm feelin much more better le. mani thanks to all my friends!!*flyin kisses. muaks!!mei you ni men dun even think i wont have survive long .i may be fine, bt am i jus tryin to put up a brave front?? so confused.hais.he crept of our love wit no anxiety and worry lyk it was jus another ordinary dae.while i can oni suffer silently every night wit bitter memories.till nw, i fear to go to bed afraid tt i will sob each time.often, i deceive myself tt it wld be ok and tml wld be a better dae w/o him.i kno i wld be happi and sae" YAY i'm fine le" some dae.yet, holdin on wit vigour seems to be my forte these dae. grieve is still in there within me.life w/o him certainly seems different.i reali nid to learn to led e being-single life.bt i still e feelin of being LOVED can.hopefully time can really heal everythin and make me f-o-r-g-e-t him.bt is nv easi to forget when "memories" exist.sigh.better stop tokin abt this b4 i get into emotional side of me.

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yesterdae was a busi busi dae fer me.i lyk being occupied these daes.hees.went gym wit apo first thing in e morning.it was my first trip to e gym and man i was excited!!LOLS. den apo guide me wit those equipment thingy.i was lyk"wah so cool man" each time she tell me hw to use it.den i will enthu enthu go try lar.i was tt stupid gal whu went "woo"& "ah" each time i gt to try those work outs.as expected, i knew tt i will malu myself w/o fail de. my malu moment occured at one station.(u must push ur legs- straight- against a support- den -draw -it- back tt kind.) at one pt, i dunno wad i did, e whole thingy went"POMP" reali loud.den literally everyone turned back and stare at me and gave me tt "WAD HAPPENED??" look.i was lyk shit shit shit.i made a fool of myself.i wanted to just use e towel and cover my face and walked out of e gym man.it was tt malu.(- - ")after tt, went to catch a movie.yours, mine, ours.pretti nice show.i love those kids!!so adoroble.esp e boi boi who gt away wit his tt 'i am so cute" face.nt to mention e light house part.damn sweet!!overall, i tot e eight bucks was nt wasted.=)

gt to settle fer dinner at cafe cartel wit e3 ppl later.though it was suppose to be a gathering, nt mani turned up.kinda moody later after dinner, when his NAMEwas mentioned couple times.tt is when i start to sink in my thoughts AGAIN.HAIS.gals lyk me shld be shot rite in e head, cause no matter wads ppl sae i wont listen these daes.feelin crappy, i ended my dae, walkin home wit zhuang and ah hui frm TM to 201 to simei.e walk was long and we had a long chat.both of dem certainly make me feel better.i'm so gonna miss dem.dey all jus so nice to me.hees.

/5:39 PM

mandy blogged.