Tuesday, December 5
am taking a break.
the truth has surfaced.and with no other choice i chose to accept it.
wit tt truth, i am all apart as a person.
emotionally worn-out. :((
i am tired, i really do feel ttired at this pt of time.
if only i can drown all my sorrows with volka.LOL.
and puke all my sorrows dwn the toliet.
countless advices and encouragements
frm my dearies and friends.
thank you guys for smacking sense into me
each time i fall deeper into my stubborn belief.
i appreciate them all,
and have struggled to stand up and move on.
i tried and i did move on all this time.
bt is still way too sickenin tt each time u
try to stand up, smth would just trigger off.
and u get sucked into the whole SHIT.
have been deceiving myself all this while
with the hope-against-hope logic.
constantly burried myself with work
and life-has-to-go-on, no matter wad.
bt at some pt of time, u, urself just realised tt
u have been covering up ur feelings all this while.
geniune feelings nt just any typical emo feeling.
u chose to put away the tots thinkin tt it would just go away
some time.bt when the nite sets in
and pressure the starts to mount
on you.you know u can no longer take it.
they dun just simply go away.they do stay there.
u can choose to move on
and set tt pt of ur thinking aside.bt eventually,
everything just returns
happily to u.and the whole dreaded cycle just begins.
tt is wad i am experiencing and feeling currently.
am no longer depressed nor did i cry to my sleep yesterdae.
my heart went numbed.and it is as if u choose to ignore
everything tt life has to offer.
ignorance.my key principle fer the mths to come.
there's simply no time to sort out and reflect
with exams round the corner and e increasing wkload.
khai told me "being happy is just an illusion"
and i starting to accept this fact.
there is no time for me to acknowledge my emotions.
they have been there.
stuck within me.
and are now in a reali big mess because of my
i-will-just-put-it-aside-first thinking.
time is the word.i kno.i need nth bt time.
den when will the word "comfort" set in?
i knw better den anyone else how much time i have took
and ended up still stuck in this shit.
am glad tt i have still friends and my dearest family though.
i really do need time to sort out my emotions and stuff.
dun ask me the HOW.
i guess i will take a pretty long time.
there is just too much to eliminate and to forget.
way too much.ignorance is the best policy i guess.
with my stubborn analogy and belief.
i will move on soon.fer i believe the world doesnt
stop fer a person who is feelin down and low.
hiatus.
/7:46 AM
mandy blogged.